Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Dah-veed has been taken

The terrible news is that David (dah-veed) Penguini has been taken.

The bad news is that neither Marg nor Jorja from tv's CSI came to investigate.

The good news is that Officer Newton, who did come, has prior experience in tracking down kidnapped penguin yard ornaments.

After about twenty years of guarding our front door, David is gone. Mars stepped out to get the morning paper and immediately noticed his absence. I called the local police shortly thereafter.

"I'm calling to report a stolen yard decoration."
"Can you describe it please?"
"It's a plastic penguin about three feet tall. Filled with sand. It's just like the penguins that are kept outside the offices of the local oil company."
"Okay Mr. M..... We'll send someone out."

About one half hour later there was a knock on our door. I was otherwise occupied, so Mars answered. The one male voice that I heard quickly disabused me of any hope for at least one low-cut-bloused female forensic investigator.

Mars and he were staring at the outline of David's base on our gray stone front step. Officer Newton said "I know. After all that time he was family."

We found David around two decades ago at one of the funky stores in Northhampton Massachusetts. He was one among many. We purchased him, brought him across state lines to our home in Wethersfield, filled him with sand (he being a hollow plastic shell) and placed him on our front step adjacent to the door knob. And he has stayed there faithfully all these years - buried in snow, frozen in ice, poured on by rain, and baked by the sun - guarding that entrance, except for the brief period of time when our front steps were being replaced and he stood nearby waiting to return to his rightful place.

And we assumed that he would always be there. Or else we would have had a current (or even out of date) photo to provide to the police. Engraved or at least written his name somewhere on his organic polymer body. Or imbedded an identification chip somewhere under his rigid black and white "skin". But no...

So we were left repeating to Officer Newton the same words that I had told the dispatcher who took our original call. "It's about a three feet tall plastic penguin. Filled with sand. He's just like those penguins on the lawn in front of the oil company."

"Except he was wearing a thin red scarf." added Mars. (She had knitted the muffler specifically for our front door watch-bird.)

"I've had prior experience returning those penguins to their home." said Officer Newton. But that was pretty much the only assurance that he gave us.

After he left we took a ride to check out the oil company penguin display. It was in disarray with several birds scattered beak down on the ground and possibly a few missing.

Which made us wonder:

Is there a cell of the P.L.O. (Penguin Liberation Organization) operating in town?

Did Officer Newton put out an A.P.B.?

And would Marg and Jorja do a better job of keeping us abreast of the investigation?


--- jerry said...

Hi Jim, very entertaining! Your craft is really beginning to blossom. You should try selling some of these to some newspapers, just don't let the PLO find out!


Anonymous said...

Jim, thank you for the wonderful writings! Your blog is checked often, admittedly after Monica and Bram's, and never fails to amuse and enlighten!